Journalist Be Scofield has just written a few days ago an article, entitled , “The New Predator: Spiritual Teacher Padma Aon Prakasha Accused of Abuse”. Here is what I feel about it.
Journalist Deidre Olsen interviews me about my testimony regarding meeting Padma Aon Prakasha, renewed public author and spiritual teacher, and how I became his student and teacher, being blindly emotionally manipulated and abused by him, and how I later realized it all.
I further explain how Jesus and Mary helped me to become aware of my injuries and spiritual facade that made me open to Padma’s manipulations and abuses just because I was ignoring and avoiding my early childhood trauma’s. I became then unconsciously driven by pain and fears in a quest to feel good about myself: validated, approved, worth and special. Now that I have become more aware of my own childhood injuries, and have exposed and deconstructed a fair bit of my spiritual façade, people with evil intentions cannot abuse my weaknesses anymore in the same way Padma did. I do feel freedom and joy coming from knowing myself better, and being a more sincere and truthful expression of my true self, even though I have many other aspects of me that still need to be exposed, and healed.
Here is the link to the interview (49 minutes): https://drive.google.com/open?id=1JOW9dd5IzVny-RYU3anwATqUN2M8HWM7
NOTE: No part of this interview may be transcribed, reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without my prior written permission.
A group of people has decided to go public on Facebook in sharing their personal experience of being abused by Padma Aon Prakasha, a public figure, author and spiritual teacher.
This testimony is part of a group of factual testimonies of people who have dared to speak truth in a loving, non attacking way. They have all been abused in various ways and intensity by Padma Aon Prakasha over the years of meeting him, being his partner, student or assistant. Here is fist an introduction stating our intention.
We have created a forum dedicated to collect the factual testimonies of people who have been physically, sexually or emotionally abused by Padma Aon Prakasha. Each member of this group has freely chosen to share their testimonials abiding to the following criteria;
- Identify yourself honestly and openly providing your full birth name, (and other names known by) and contact details.
- Write your testimony as factually as you can remember.
- Be prepared to speak up in a public manner.
- Testimonies that are attacking towards Padma Aon Prakasha or show no personal responsibility for the attraction to him, will not be published on this page.
Padma Aon Prakasha is a public figure known as an international spiritual teacher, healer and author of spiritual books: ‘The Power of Shakti,’ ‘Womb Wisdom,’ ‘Sacred Relationships,’ ‘The Christ Blueprint’, ‘The Nine Eyes of Light: Ascension Keys from Egypt,’ ‘Dimensions of Love,’ and ‘Sacred Wounds: Original Innocence.’
His biography on the Amazon website reads;
‘Padma Aon Prakasha is an evolutionary author, visionary creative force and spiritual teacher. Padma holds the power of great change and transformation, and is part of the new generation of evolutionary guides. He combines all his multiple lineage initiations, teachings and skills into being a powerful catalyst for soul expansion. His ability to tap into the heart of the ancient mysteries and articulate their modern day message is renowned, and he has been described as, “Unique, provocative, fresh, full of profound integrity, knowledge and experience.’
Padma is described by other well-known spiritual teachers in public domains in the following way;
“Padma Aon Prakasha is a rare find. He has the unique ability to transport your body, mind and soul to the next octave of consciousness with his words of wisdom, heartfelt questions, and vast love for everyone he meets.”
“Power of Shakti is a book of hope and healing. It gives us the keys to heal the old wound resulting from the repression of the feminine power of the world”
Since 1997, Padma has taught in over 20 countries worldwide.
Padma claims to assist others to deepen their connection with the Divine and develop a loving connection with yourself, with your partner, and with the world around.”
For those of us who have publicly shared our testimonials, we would like to express the purpose and our intentions of contributing in this way.
Although each person testifying here has known Padma at different times, come from different countries, are varied in age group and have often never met in person, we all have similar desires and similar emotional injuries that attracted Padma into our lives.
We all had a strong desire to seek a spiritually powerful man who claimed to have the gift to heal our emotional wounds, which could ultimately enable us to reach our full potential and connect with God. We willingly gave him our power, and due the unhealed emotional injuries within us, allowed ourselves to be controlled and abused. For the women who testify here, many have been sexually abused by Padma. These women are initially attracted to him due to their need to feel special, feel sexually pure, (most have some sexual trauma from their childhood), and to be attached to a man whom they believe is spiritually powerful. He does not need to revert to rape, because he gains control over these women and they willingly give themselves to him. Padma gains power over women by telling them that he can heal their wombs and open them up to greater freedom, joy and spiritual fulfilment.
As each of us looked up to him as someone with authority and superior to us, we unconsciously affirmed our own deep sense of inferiority and feelings of unworthiness, which came from our early childhood experiences.
The decision to create this platform for individuals to share their testimonials was inspired by AJ Miller and Mary Luck. More can be found out about them and their teachings on www.divinetruth.com. Padma was introduced to these teachings in 2010. Padma uses many of these truths shared on Divine Truth and teaches them as his own. Very often he has plagiarized from AJ Miller and manipulated the teachings for his own personal gain. The Divine Truth teachings have inspired and facilitated the healing of several individuals who have been abused by Padma and who have testified. If it weren’t for these two individuals, this platform would not exist and many of us would not have had the courage, or gone through the necessary healing, in order to write our testimonials.
The intention of going public is that when others, who are seeking a spiritual teacher or healer, do an internet search, they are able to find factual information warning them about Padma and his abuse of so many students and partners.
This platform does not support attacking Padma or intentionally setting out to harm him. We wish to protect any violent attacks on Padma, or any other person, by the public and because of this choose to make this page a viewing platform only. It is not open to comments, personal opinions, gossip, speculation, propaganda, or any unloving behaviour towards Padma or those who testify.
Padma has been given direct feedback consistently over the last 10 years. Everything that is shared here has been stated to Padma in the hope that he chooses to take loving actions. When people speak up and share the truth about him, he becomes violently rageful, attacking them in every possible way, and frightening them with threats of spirit attacks. This is also why many others do not wish to come forward and testify. They are very afraid of him.
All of us who have shared our stories are prepared for this potential attack, not only from Padma but from his followers who remain loyal to him. We have compassion for those who are still entrenched in his teachings and remain willingly in co-dependent abusive relationships with him. All of us understand the overwhelming desire to get our own addictions met; the need to feel special, important, powerful, healed, validated and worthy. When we want this so badly, we can do almost anything to have it met.
We would like to acknowledge the courage and remarkable bravery that we have all come to know in following through with this process. Every testimonial is precious and every soul has made one major step from spiritual blindness to some degree of clarity. We wish the same for everyone reading this and we pray with all our heart that your journey to find spiritual fulfillment and healing be kind, compassionate, gentle and loving.
“By their actions they shall be known.”
My personal testimony, dated 7/3/2018
NOTE: No part of this testimony may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without my prior written permission.
“I have met Padma for the first time in organized tour in Egypt called the Tantra of Light in February 2008. I simply discovered a link marketing the tour through internet.
The first time I met Padma, I was very impressed by him as he welcomed me with a large impressive hug, with a large smile, full of love as if he knew me already and I was his best friend. I became quickly very attracted to Padma’s teachings and personality because he would make me feel special, helped and supported, important. He was attractive to me, powerful, fearless, and what I thought was a spiritually evolved person. I wanted to become like him on that respect. I had – and still have – a very low sense of self, was looking for a substitute father’s figure that inspired and loved me, and was also very said in my own intimate relationship. I was in a condition to be very easily manipulated, and I would almost accept everything coming from him in the hope to become spiritually evolved and worthy. I really wanted to feel special, worth of his attention and care, and he fed this addiction perfectly.
Padma was most of the time really good and friendly with me, like a really good friend that cares about me, and one that really see me and value me as I truly am. I was feeling good because he met most of my addictions to feel good about myself, most of the time. So, I grew a strong sense of trust towards him that he wanted just all good for me and others.
However, on a few occasions, all along the time I have known him, this is more than 3 years, he has been attacking my sense of self-worth, telling me how I was still full of errors and underdeveloped spiritually. I would really feel terrible about myself, like a piece of shit, and then in this space, he would tell me he knows what I need to do to grow, and how I could heal. In this way, Padma was creating in me a kind of link of dependence where I felt he knows better, he is more developed, I need him to heal myself, and so, I should listen to him.
Sometimes I would feel really scared of Padma’s sudden violent behaviour towards the group of someone in particular, but then I would reason myself that this was love in action, and that it was just for the benefit of us or that person that Padma had to be that firm. This is what I thought love would be because Padma knows best what love is.
I also heard about his ‘violent’ treatments of women, through hearing women getting suddenly angry at him, or seeing his assistant or lovers being suddenly banned and disappearing without any explanation, but I did not dare to really investigate and question his authority about why he chose so. I was scared of his unexpected violent reactions, his attacking my sense of worth or rejecting me as well, and I did not dare to question his authority.
Padma recommended me to break with my 9-year-old partner because she was not ‘spiritual’ enough and we had no sexual intimacy for the last 2 years. He told me that I need sexual intimacy to grow spiritually. I was very said in my relationship at that point in time, and easily manipulated into leaving my partner. I wanted to feel sexually worth as a man and felt completely sexually rejected by my partner, but we were still good friends and she was a good and friendly person. Already in Egypt, as I was still in relationship, I started flirting with another woman that had been praised by Padma in front of the whole group, and I felt Padma’s approval. I was not even sexually attracted by that women. I also felt other women sexual projections onto me, and felt really worth as a man.
While I was still in relationship, Padma kept pressurize me into engaging sexual intimacy with other women. I told my partner about how despaired I felt, and we decided to take both some sexual freedom and see what happens. Then, I started to occasionally sexually engage with other partners with the hope to grow spiritually and to get Padma’s approval, and I felt better about myself.
Eventually, I decided to leave my partner. When I left her, I staid single for 6 months. Padma then manipulated me into entering a relationship with one of his female student. What happens is that Padma told me during my first trip in Egypt with him, how this woman and me could potentially become really great teachers of him if we were together in an intimate relationship. I was really excited about that possibility to become a teacher. But, I felt really scared of that woman and did not feel to flirt with her. Padma knew that this woman felt attracted to me. He asked me to play her ‘sacred’ partner’s role in the centre of a private ceremony of 40 people during the tour in Egypt. This was really weird as I was playing a role but my heart was not sincerely involved. We eventually became friends, but nothing more. Then, more than a year after the Egypt tour, as I was single for 6 months, Padma told me during a workshop in South of France: “You really need a partner to keep growing spiritually, ask your soul what partner you soul wants”. I was looking so much for his approval and wanted to become important as a teacher that I answered the name of this woman he introduced to me in Egypt. Then, Padma pressurized me on the spot to write her an email inviting her to be my partner. I was really terrorized, but I felt that it was the right thing to do to grow spiritually and serve the world. So, I did write to her, and she directly accepted. We entered a relationship, and eventually got married. After paying both a lot of money to be trained as Padma’s teacher, we became Padma’s official teachers. I believed I was becoming someone “special”, useful, doing healing and helping lots of people. We end up teaching a few workshops together in Europe and I enjoyed it very much. The relationship felt terrible at times, and really abusive to me, and at a few occasions I really wanted to run away. I was staying just for the wrong reason, to try to do the right thing, to keep having Padma’s approval. I did not know what I would do if I left her. I would lose Padma’s approval, I would lose my new job and sense of worth as a teacher. I was terrorized.
The next year, while we were Padma’s assistants training new teachers on an internet Forum, I discovered the teaching of Divine Truth from AJ Miller and Mary Luck (www.divinetruth.com) that Padma was referring to more and more in his teachings about God and love. I became quickly fascinated by what AJ Miller was revealing in his teachings. This man felt so respectful of people free will, humble and kind, it was so different from the harsh treatment that Padma called love. I became really confused. I started to have more and more doubt and discomfort about Padma’s attitude towards his students and assistants. One day, I could not keep quiet, and I addressed and questioned publicly what I felt to be an unloving and manipulative post from Padma on the forum because I had learned from AJ Miller that love always honour people free will. As only response, I have been immediately banned from his team, and my partner who had nothing to do with it was banned too. It was really an outburst of rage from Padma with personal attack and threads. Nobody among the other teachers dared to say anything about it, they were all scared of facing the same fate.
Here is a copy of the email Padma sent me (back then known as Amael to Padma) and my partner on July 12, 2011. It illustrates very well the way Padma tends to put people self-worth down, and often accused them of projecting evil thoughts at him, when he feels threatened in his power and control;
“If you two wish to continue spreading delusion and theories without any back up or experience that you have had of them on my forum to my group, i will expell you within 12 hours.
Amael, your projections onto me with your ideals of perfection have happened three times in the last week, and only show something about you and your own wounds around perfection that bind you still. I will not be projected onto one more time by you.
If you are trying in some dim witted way to challenge me this is a very naive move to do. Know whom and what you are dealing with.
If you suddenly feel that you are all knowing about love and truth when you are just entering the 2nd sphere, i feel sorry for you.
I will not go around my group repairing damage you are doing with your ignorance.
Your brother Nico shared you wished to learn. I trust he is right.
You have neither right nor authority to offer anything in this community without consulting me first. There is only 1 leader here.
If you wish to set up your own community, then go for it with you 3. Good luck to you and may God Be with you.
If you wish to be part of this one, then i suggest you amend your attitude and become a bit more humble.
I have taken you both off the Forum. I may put you back if and when i feel a shift in you, or not. “
I was really under shock during a couple of days, but then, I started feeling a sense of deep relief to become free of Padma’s controlling influence. And so did my partner.
A week later, Padma wrote us a message to sort of apologize, but I did not feel any sincere regret, remorse, in his words, he was more justifying his past unloving behaviour:
Now the dust has settled and you are more on your track, i feel to share something with you both.
What has happened is for the best for everything, and i felt that from the beginning. This is why i did not feel to share anything before this.
None of us can be held in past reference points of who we were, as opposed to who we now are. Any projection or feeling of this is detrimental to who we actually are now and what we can become.
The error i made was not actually to do with what was being thought of by you, and was rectified within days of me making my outburst. The outburst was for different reasons than what you thought. I did not feel to share this with you as you both think of me as something i am not, and something from the past. I appreciated A. final response a little more as it was more aspiring to Truth; this was because A. was not projecting her own wound onto me and just sharing some principles. I am sorry if you were hurt by my outburst in any way, as i did not wish to create harm or offend anyone.
Whilst we all make errors of differing degrees, it is true that the sooner we rectify them the better, and there is no sin left when we do this fully.
I love you both, and wish you the best for your continuance into God now and in the spirit world. I have assisted your souls out of the hells, and this is what i agreed to do, with Gods Help.
God Bless you. Padma”
I wish Padma no harm. Today, I feel entirely responsible for all my unloving choices towards myself and many others under Padma’s influence, and I understand much more of why I attracted Padma into my life.
I just hope that my testimony, among others, will help to prevent more harm to be done to other people that come in contact with Padma, and that Padma may get to see the truth of his own condition, and eventually grow a desire to stop doing more harm to himself and others. Padma’s methods are not spiritual. It is an evil act to manipulate people’s injuries and weaknesses and harm them to our own benefit. I have learned today that true spirituality is all about truth, love and kindness…”
You may read other testimonies on the Facebook public forum.
I have learned that the only way to grow in love is act upon my loving burning desires, and then take full responsibility and feel whatever fear and terror comes up, and then keep on improving, correcting and doing it.
Now, I have just come back to Europe after attending God’s Way Volunteer Volunteer Selection Programme, and I will write more about it in the near future as it is the best experience and gift I have ever have received about learning to live God’s Way, and it is now time to act and experience God’s Way in service to the community.
I hope I will be able to share soon more of my current projects to experiment about God’s Way of Love, that is living in a gifting economy in service to the community and the environment.
Love to all,
I have just succeeded now to log in this blog I started in November 2013. Interestingly, after writing this draft below, I could never find my way to get back to WordPress and find this website draft and share it on the web until… today !
And this has happened just after I have felt a huge desire to serve Divine Truth lately, including to attend the Volunteer Induction Program in order to become a volunteer for Divine Truth and/or God’s Way of Love , and this month I have decided to volunteer full time for Divine Truth and see what’s going on.
My old Mac I am referring to below is still broken, and I have just finally manifested a beautiful 15′ Mac Power Book, being graciously gifted to me by my ex partner Sandra, 3 months ago. This has happened just a few days after I expressed really sincere desire for it to be able to share more of Divine Truth. And it is exactly what I asked for. Amazing.
However, it is not booting anymore now, after overheating a couple of times when attempting to create Video clips for Divine Truth, and needs repair as well. Hum…, God is showing me something about my soul here, and I am rather self creating computers issues or attracting spirit attacks related to my desire to share about Divine Truth, especially videos and clips of Jesus and Mary’s Teaching for YouTube, that I create and edit on Mac only. Fortunately, my mini rescue PC computer (oh my…, it has been so helpful and operational) has been working fine and I have not been refrained from sharing Divine Truth on the web, and translating Divine Truth documents into French, but editing video is very confined with it because it has not enough memory.
I forgot to mention that a couple of day after I started to dream about the Divine Truth Van (read below the story), I got offered a Van to buy from friends that I could use to travel around sharing Divine Truth.
Now, the “van” has not become a real thing, it has become the symbol of my soul wandering on God’s Way – and most of the time still on my own way to be honest – attempting to learn and discover and share some of God’s infinite Truth about the universe and everything in it.
Anybody who knows me a bit is aware that I am passionate about sharing Divine Truth as it is taught by AJ Miller and Mary who claim to be Jesus and Mary Magdalene from the Bible. I am not sure about many of my soul desires and doubt and fears and addictions have prevented me many times from acting but this one is at least one I am certain of and I have been acting about it.
I have visited Australia for a year in 2011-2012 with a primary desire to learn more about love in action. I’ve then spent a year abroad sharing a bit of Divine Truth materials in New Zealand and in New Caledonia without authorization to come back. I realized later that I was angry and demanding to be accepted here as a resident. I got 3 visa refusal notifications over a period of 6 months. After feeling and releasing my unloving demand towards the Australian immigration department , I got directly approved and was delivered a new tourist visa. So I decided to come back for 3 months during spring 2013.
As you might know or not, I had a strong desire to take responsibility for my life and to build my own house and I have built a $50000 shelter next to Sandra’s dome on some friend’s land in Wilkesdale. I spent my last savings into it without even knowing if I could enjoy living here. That sounds crazy, illogical and irresponsible to many people and it is maybe but I felt to do it and I did it. When I met Sandra who I believe is my soulmate but don’t want as my soulmate most of the time, I had the same project as her to buy a geodesic dome and we decided then to create together in the bush a kind of soulmate living structure with a large deck living area in the center, a geodesic dome on one side and a round roof structure with an integrated shipping container and a room on the other side.
Surprisingly, these days as I am about to leave the country again, I have felt an increasing desire to travel and visit more of Australia. I’ve actually just visited a bit of Queensland and very little of New South Wales. I love particularly this country for some reasons among which a feeling a spaciousness, the openness in people and a sense that here all dreams and new ideas can become reality much easier than in the old Europe (Belgium) from where I come from. Now, I am running out of time and especially money and this desire feels impossible.
A couple of days ago I surprisingly woke up with an incredible excitement and desire about an emerging idea: get a van transformed into a Divine Love vehicle and doing a tour of Australia aiming at visiting places and meeting people while for sharing Divine Truth information all around the country.
Very quickly, my mind and fear popped up and I started to consider this idea as unrealistic, scary and close to impossible to realize and turned it down putting it in the big basked of all my dreams that have never come through.
I remember my partner not long time ago Sandra telling me: “why not to create something miraculous, to change something in your soul so you could stay and live and travel in Australia as long as you wish”. Well, this is possible. But obviously I don’t believe it right now.
The next morning, this idea came back with the same excitement and I felt to draw a potential Divine Truth Van that I would desire to manifest for the project to become more tangible and real.
Then, the next day, I felt to draw the Divine Truth Van with a little stand next to it showing how we would be standing giving leaflets and DVD’s for free to people attracted through their soul’s desire by our intriguing vehicle .
Then, the next day, I felt about creating a blog about sharing the story of the Divine Truth Van. Well, the first steps of the projects.
I have today no money nor to buy the van, to prepare it and to pay travel and food. I going back in New Caledonia in 10 days and I desire very much to make it real at my next coming maybe somewhere in 2014.
It seems closed to impossible but I would like to experiment more about how the law of desire operates at a soul level and how apparently unrealistic desires can be realized.
I have many other priorities at this moment and the top of the list after my relationship with God is to take financial responsibility for my own life, to manifest a job that I love and a place where I would love to live and feel well to connect with God. But I want also to keep working with this Divine Truth Van project and go on with this desire.
On the top of that, my Mac has just broken down, so I need to manifest a new laptop to prepare this adventure and update this blog.